My gym recently got remodeled and now has an extra floor which I love because there is actually room in there to stretch without being up in someone else's business. However they also got all new weight machines which are huge and scary and I don't know how to use them. Today I did free weights in order to avoid those machines. The downside of that is the free weight section is dominated by serious dudes who stare at themselves in the mirror and grunt. Also you can't help but look at yourself as there are mirrors everywhere. It made me feel self-conscious so I put on my sweatshirt, hood included and ended up looking like a short female unabomber busting out her 7.5 lb weights.
I decided that working towards a specific goal at the gym rather than just cluelessly working out would be helpful for me. Also I would like to someday learn how to run. So I have decided to try the popular internet work out (thanks for the tip Kathryn) Couch to 5K.
If I am able to stick with it, it should have many benefits. I will look and feel better, plus Ula will no longer have to flip me over every 12 hours to avoid couch sores. I have convinced a friend (I shall protect her identity by using a nickname, let's call her...Rose) to take the journey from couch to 5K with me.
Tomorrow the training begins and on April 11, 2010 you can find Rose and I running the hell (or walking the heck) out of this race.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Puns, Tears and Fake Boobs
Last night I treated myself to the season premiere of The Bachelor. I watched it with a friend (whose name shall remain hidden to protect the tasteless) and learned some valuable life lessons.
Here is a picture of the new bachelor.
Looking at this picture you are probably thinking, hmm...he's attractive in a really generic way. Too true! Sadly his personality is generic in not a particularly attractive way. Luckily he has really nice abs and is not afraid to constantly take his shirt off regardless off how inappropriate the situation is (and in preparing to meet the ladies the viewer got to join him in the shower...and i swear we were mere inches away from the first onscreen bachelor penis. curses!!!).
Anyway as a single gal this show is actually very informative about what men are interested in. I predicted almost none of the ladies he actually decided to keep on for the first round. Finally an answer to what men want - puns, tears and fake boobs.
The puns, oh my god, the puns. They came fast and furious. So much so that at times I became physically uncomfortable and had to cover my face and turn away from the screen. So the bachelor is a pilot, right? Therefore it was a 2 hour feast of clever wordplay including puns about being his "co-pilot", buckling up for a "bumpy ride" and worst of all, a perhaps too early invitation into one of the ladies "landing strips." The bachelor seemed to really enjoy the majority of these puns (with the sad exception of Ms. Landing Strip who was sent home).
Also, the tears. I would think crying with your overwhelming love for someone you have known for 1/2 an hour would be off putting. Perhaps a sign of being overly needy and emotionally unsteady? Nope, it turns out the bachelor digs that shit as well and the crier stayed.
Finally, boobs. So many big fake boobs hanging out all over the place (one pair particularly far apart and tragic looking). I have never seen so much intense cleavage in my life. I came away from the experience slightly traumatized. I think I need to go another couple of weeks before seeing breasts, I even had to close my eyes when I took a shower today to avoid my own.
Anyway, I will sadly be watching this train wreck again and should it continue to instruct me I may post about it.
On a final note, I had a lovely work out today (and still am pretty much on the diet), and am interested in learning how to run. I will most likely be starting out on a treadmill before I hit the great outdoors. [Here is the section of my blog where I pretend people read it] Does anyone have any tips, ideas or resources for this? Like some sort of plan where I start walking and work up to being able to run? I'm sort of intimidated by the entire process including the treadmill itself which seems like it could be some sort of deathtrap, just waiting for me to trip, fall and die. But I'm also excited, so let me know.
Here is a picture of the new bachelor.
Looking at this picture you are probably thinking, hmm...he's attractive in a really generic way. Too true! Sadly his personality is generic in not a particularly attractive way. Luckily he has really nice abs and is not afraid to constantly take his shirt off regardless off how inappropriate the situation is (and in preparing to meet the ladies the viewer got to join him in the shower...and i swear we were mere inches away from the first onscreen bachelor penis. curses!!!).
Anyway as a single gal this show is actually very informative about what men are interested in. I predicted almost none of the ladies he actually decided to keep on for the first round. Finally an answer to what men want - puns, tears and fake boobs.
The puns, oh my god, the puns. They came fast and furious. So much so that at times I became physically uncomfortable and had to cover my face and turn away from the screen. So the bachelor is a pilot, right? Therefore it was a 2 hour feast of clever wordplay including puns about being his "co-pilot", buckling up for a "bumpy ride" and worst of all, a perhaps too early invitation into one of the ladies "landing strips." The bachelor seemed to really enjoy the majority of these puns (with the sad exception of Ms. Landing Strip who was sent home).
Also, the tears. I would think crying with your overwhelming love for someone you have known for 1/2 an hour would be off putting. Perhaps a sign of being overly needy and emotionally unsteady? Nope, it turns out the bachelor digs that shit as well and the crier stayed.
Finally, boobs. So many big fake boobs hanging out all over the place (one pair particularly far apart and tragic looking). I have never seen so much intense cleavage in my life. I came away from the experience slightly traumatized. I think I need to go another couple of weeks before seeing breasts, I even had to close my eyes when I took a shower today to avoid my own.
Anyway, I will sadly be watching this train wreck again and should it continue to instruct me I may post about it.
On a final note, I had a lovely work out today (and still am pretty much on the diet), and am interested in learning how to run. I will most likely be starting out on a treadmill before I hit the great outdoors. [Here is the section of my blog where I pretend people read it] Does anyone have any tips, ideas or resources for this? Like some sort of plan where I start walking and work up to being able to run? I'm sort of intimidated by the entire process including the treadmill itself which seems like it could be some sort of deathtrap, just waiting for me to trip, fall and die. But I'm also excited, so let me know.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Outside of the Box
My new Cute Overload calendar tells me that the new year as begun! It is difficult for me to distinguish between the passing of time from my couch. I rarely know what day of the week it is and can only distinguish between a.m. and p.m. by looking at the T.V. and seeing if my "stories" are currently on (afternoon) or if it is talk shows and infomercials (early morning). However, TBTP inform me that we have in fact entered a new year. To mark this important event, I am going to engage in a little old fashioned resolution making.
As I am someone with a lot of laziness and little will power I don't want to overwhelm myself with more than one resolution. I need to keep it simple. Also, I don't want to be overly trite or clichéd. I'd like to do something a little outside of the box. Therefore, my new year's resolution is to go on a diet. I don't know if y'all have heard of these "diet" things, but apparently you reduce caloric intake by eating healthier and exercising and then your clothes fit again. It sounds exciting! One diet I'm particularly intrigued by is the newly advertised taco bell drive-thru diet. I'm not sure of all of the particulars but apparently you sit in your car and eat fast food. It sounds so achievable.
If for some odd reason the taco bell diet ends up not being successful for me I am going to try something a little more old fashioned. To that end I shall (try) to:
- give up the following: pork, beef, ice cream, chocolate, butter, and the awesome delicious frieds (farewell french fries, onion rings, tater tots, etc)
- limit the following: cheese, booze and sugar (three of my favorite things which realistically i can't give up cold turkey)
- increase the following: fruits, veggies, and seafood
- work out: yes, do more of this.
Wish me luck! Encourage me! Send me awesome tasty low-fat recipe ideas!
Happy New Year.
As I am someone with a lot of laziness and little will power I don't want to overwhelm myself with more than one resolution. I need to keep it simple. Also, I don't want to be overly trite or clichéd. I'd like to do something a little outside of the box. Therefore, my new year's resolution is to go on a diet. I don't know if y'all have heard of these "diet" things, but apparently you reduce caloric intake by eating healthier and exercising and then your clothes fit again. It sounds exciting! One diet I'm particularly intrigued by is the newly advertised taco bell drive-thru diet. I'm not sure of all of the particulars but apparently you sit in your car and eat fast food. It sounds so achievable.
If for some odd reason the taco bell diet ends up not being successful for me I am going to try something a little more old fashioned. To that end I shall (try) to:
- give up the following: pork, beef, ice cream, chocolate, butter, and the awesome delicious frieds (farewell french fries, onion rings, tater tots, etc)
- limit the following: cheese, booze and sugar (three of my favorite things which realistically i can't give up cold turkey)
- increase the following: fruits, veggies, and seafood
- work out: yes, do more of this.
Wish me luck! Encourage me! Send me awesome tasty low-fat recipe ideas!
Happy New Year.
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